i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
