Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
