I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize