ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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