At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
