how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
