There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
