bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
