I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
