Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
