let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
