She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
