I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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