this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
