he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize