i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
