I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
