But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
