You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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