drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
