you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
dude. I can hear the air.
His nipple licking is glorious
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