Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
