haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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