Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
