yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
