ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize