well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
