Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize