Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My feet surprised me
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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