Whod you bang
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
