Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
