bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
