Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
