Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
