That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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