Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
