tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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