So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
