lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
sex in a hospital.. check
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
