I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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