It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
