Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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