Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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