Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
