I think my vagina is haunted
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
