Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You have to summon your inner elephant
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
