I wish I could teleport
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
