I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
