Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
