So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
