Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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