I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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