i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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