So drunk its hurt
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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