i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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