I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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