My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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