He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
