Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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