so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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