evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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