It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
